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Back in the not too distant past
When I would need a quick repast
Or a temporary break from my agenda

Up to the bedroom I would head
Pull out the Playboy from 'neath the bed
And sneak a peak at all the portraits of pudenda

My alternatives were slim
If I tried to find another source for sin
I'd have to hang out with the losers in the backroom of my local video store

But last month I finally made the call
I got a brand new cable modem installed
And it opened up the floodgates of a whole new universe of INTERNET PORN

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Honestly honey, I dunno how the link got on there!

After my girlfriend goes to sleep
And I get out of bed and down the hall I creep
So I can hunker down and wallow in depravity until 3 or 4

You'll always find me in that same tableau
Silloueted by my monitor's warm glow
And absorbing all the bounty from the cornocopia of INTERNET PORN

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